Truth is, I ain’t got it.
We all have our obligations. Family and work obligations tend to mold our life events and decisions. But I grew up as an only child in a small family that quickly became non-traditional. As in my parents got divorced, in a small town, and all the negative bullshit that comes with it. I may have been only 11 years old, but I wasn’t stupid or naive. I basically watched our holiday traditions and people that I loved so much just fall apart at the seams.
People often take sides when families or friends split apart. And while this is the time of year that you’re supposed to be especially good and kind and giving, I’m just not feeling it this year. I don’t feel it in myself, and I’m not feeling it or seeing it in others. This time of year is just an excuse to pump up our chests and show the good in us, but again – I call bullshit. Where is everyone’s goodness the rest of the year? The holidays just make it sting that much more to either be forced to be with people you don’t want to be with, or it’s just a reminder of those we are missing and need more than ever.
I’m just trying to be honest. I’m not as positive as I used to be and I know this time of year is hard for a lot of people, so this needed to be written and (hopefully) read. The reality is that the holidays fuel our shadow. Expectations are higher, and therefore the downfall is more brutal.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love the Christmas trees and music and lights. I’m not a total Grinch. I’m just in a moment where I could do without it. Whether you love or loathe the holidays, I hope you remember that you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Others may have a hard time accepting that, but it’s really okay.
If you want to help spread some holiday cheer or share your own personal holiday struggle, feel free to leave a comment below or send to sunshadowcollective@gmail.com.
The Sun Shadow Collective 