Hot Girl Summer

This is a harder post to write.

I have had a really great summer…!

I’ve also had some really great menstrual periods. Minimal cramping, pain or emotional hijacking. Not exactly “hot girl summer” topics, but here I am – in the throes of a premenstrual heat wave.

There have been times where I resigned my occasional depressive episodes as seasonal depression. And this summer has exceeded my expectations of what a good summer looks like. In a way, the ideal Virgo Rising summer. Where everything seems to fall into place – the weather, the people, the travel, the fun. But not every summer has looked like this. And it looks like I’m not going to get out of this summer without a shadow or two falling into place.

I felt it last week, but didn’t want to acknowledge it.

And this week, my boobs feel like rocks. I also watched the movie “Tully” the night before last so that may contribute to the dirty pillow ache. Then, because I stopped tracking my period (which is regular by the way, always just a day to a few ahead of the last one), I realize my period must be coming. My mind feels stale. I feel a block where the creativity outlet used to be. I’m fucking premenstrual in the worst way right now. And I just have to ride it out and wait for the wave to roll through before I can get through this particular shadow.

I TOLD YOU WE WERE GOING TO BE REAL, RIGHT? Shadows and all. This is a heavy shadow for women to carry. Just like childbirth and miscarriages (neither of which I have personally experienced), this emotional and physical pain is unique to us. A blessing and a curse.

So for those currently going through it, I’m with you. Acknowledge, accept and let go. A full moon is coming soon.

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